Laughter, clinking glasses and a manicured ‘high five’.
“Aki No! Joanne! Seriously…You…” Anyango continued.
“….I did! I cried on the phone for him….and don’t you dear judge me, Miss, ‘My mother doesn’t approve of you.’ How do you even tell a man that as an excuse to break up wth him? He hadn’t even met your mum. Heck! You don’t even know her.” Joanne retorted bursting into laughter. Anyango joined in and they high fived again.
“Anyango, I just don’t get it. I did, well I thought I loved him, after all he was my first…”
“The first and the worst, what was it you called him again, the “one minute cherry popping man…” Anyango looked at Joanne with a cheeky frown. Joanne pouted, shaking her head comically, with some of her braids falling on her face from here updo.
“I know that was mean, I was out of line with that…”Joanne felt remorseful.
“Even though it was true…”
“Give it a break Anyango, Albert was a nice guy.”
‘First of all, Jo- Anne, why would you even date an Albert?”
“I love you Anyango but at times you make me question this friendship, you tend to be so shallow sometimes.”
“Albert was great, he was tender….” Anyango laughed smacking the table and rocking the wine glasses. Joanne gave her a stern look and shook her head as she rolled her eyes.
“You have a lot of growing up to do Nyangi!” Joanne sipped her wine as Anyango wolfed down her steak.
“Ok fine, I will behave, why did you cry on the phone?”
“Just drop it. How is Mr. “Text language” doing?” Anyango choked on her meal, and quickly grabbed her glass of wine and gulped what she could. She let out a burp as she thumped her sternum.
Joanne was laughing so hard she began to tear.
“Looks like I hit a raw nerve.” Joanne smiled sipping her wine once again. “Go on, Miss Anyango” Joanne grinned sheepishly, and winked. Anyango rolled her eyes and opened her mouth, then closed it again. She was lost for words and looked around the room, as if she was scouting for Mr. “Text language”.
“Go on, he isn’t here…well not that I know what he looks like, go on you can whisper.” Joanne nudged her.
“Fine! He’s a midget. And they are every where, they pop up like roaches, crawling everywhere, into your mind, and pants.” Anyango rambled in paranoia and slight pleasure which she tried to hide. But the smirk on her face gave her away.
Joanne gasped. “No! You? Really? How was it?”
Anyango gestured as if she was zipping her lips and looked down at her plate sheepishly. Joanne laughed even more, now Anyango looked ashamed.
“Keep it down woman!” Anyango barked.
People in adjacent tables began to laugh also, the two ladies were so loud they couldn’t help but eavesdrop.
“But…You know the text language repulsed me, how the HELL do you type “Hae” to replace “Hi”, I thought the whole bloody purpose of text lanaguge was to economise on character use. That just adds to it and it is repulsive to type like that. UUUUUUURRRGGGG.”
Joanne had laughed so hard, tears flooded her face, holding her tummy, Joanne gasped for air.
“You are killing me. You pick on me for being sentimental and you just attract impropriaties in your love life.” Joanne laughed some more wiping her tears with her handkerchief.
“So he can’t spell, he is a midget and he has severe halitosis. Let me tell you even Listerine doesn’t get that taste out of your mouth after a kiss. Which I must add he is dreadful at.” Anyango was devastated as she spoke and repulsed, she looked like she was going to spit.
Joanne was laughing so hard the waiter asked them to keep it down. Joanne quickly stood and dashed to the ladies laughing. Anyango stayed at the table pouring more wine into her glass sipping away. About 10 minutes later, as Anynago took another sip from her glass, she froze. Joanne was back from the ladies still smiling and sighing.
“You made me pee on myself, go on…the midget…uhu…” Joanne sipped from her glass. Anyango looked like she had seen a ghost. She was mum with her finger pointing at the waiter who had just served them.
“What is the matter now Joanne, cat caught your tongue.” Joanne smiled as she turned. Joanne’s face went pale.
“Is that…” Joanne started. Anyango nodded with her mouth agape.
“Everything…the whole….he heard….” Anyango nodded
They were so absorbed in their conversation loud and glorious; they hadn’t noticed their waiter was Mr. “Text language” standing at his glorious 5 feet 2 inches.