Shaking off the Negativity

“She is such a b*!?h why is she so mean to everyone?”

“Oh! …as if he deserved to get that promotion!”

“Where is his Mama? She must be stabbing herself for giving birth to a dead beat like him; he should have got more time on his sentence!”

“He did what? Where is my bat? I am going to whoop his butt till Kingdom come!”

“Usher? Puhleeeaaaase! Just cause he can sing doesn’t mean he is all that… listen to the whore celebrating music he puts out!”

“Cast that demon! I rebuke you! I loossssssseee the demon from within you! You were such a good girl what do you mean you are pregnant?”

“She looks so happy, why couldn’t I be so happy?”

“I know I should be happy for you, but I can’t you don’t deserve the award, I do.”

“Why am I the one who always gets the short end of the stick? How about someone else suffers for a change?”

“My boss is satan’s spawn.”

“I wish you were never born?”

“I need the money, no one else has to ever know, it’s not like everyone else is a saint!”

“You need to get rid of the baby, how do you know its mine anyway?”

“It’s not me, it definitey is you, you have issues you need to get them fixed.”

“We appreciate your 30 years of service, but we have to let you go. We will contact you to collect your dues and bonus.”

“I have cancer, and I only have 6 months to live! I have lost 3 family members; I trust and pray to God, I try my best to be a good person. What did I do to deserve this?”

“I cried like a wounded animal, I began to wonder why? I started to plan my suicide, then I thought of the funeral costs to my family, I knew it was selfish but the thought was liberating.”

“I just wish I could see.”

“He didn’t make it, we tried all we could to keep him stable and comfortable, I am sorry.”

“Everyday we wake up, the world seems to have taken a huge dump that engulfs our lives and makes things worse. All these are statements from conversations we have had or been privy to. Life seems unfair its irrational how things play out. I spoke to Nyangi today and I told her that I felt that God was a sadistic puppeteer. He makes us dance near and in fire, watches us melt and burn and then when we are charred he pulls us out and says it was just a joke.

Then she told me something interesting, “So what if he is?” I was confused; I thought she would side with me. She shook her head and said, “Life is a deliberate paradox; you need to be down to get up, you need to experience loss to treasure the present, everything is a gift. That’s why we need to appreciate every moment of the present.”

I had nothing else to say. I started being thankful for everything, being able to talk, have a proper bowel movement, I remember we had a calf who was born and didn’t have a poop hole, it died. That saddens me, it’s been over a decade, but when I think of that cute calf it tears my eyes. I guess we need to choose to be thankful after all… crap it’s 2 am. I need to sleep now.

Good night Diary, love Philly!”


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