Playing Dead

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGG!! A smack of the mouth and a weird dental grin and Toti rolled out of bed. She was cranky as always and couldn’t believe she needed to be up that early. She turned on the heater and walked in to the shower. She turned the tap on and the water gushed down her back.

“DaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHh!” The electricity had gone out, it was going to be a cold shower, or so she thought, after lathering herself intensely more to keep warm than to ensure all the soap went in the right places, she turned her tap on again to rinse and she heard a suction sound. No water left. Her eyes were stinging and she was freezing in the shower, she dashed out of the bathroom to her room to get her towel to wipe off, but ended up fellowshipping with the floor. But it looked more like she was scrubbing the floor with her soapy body as she wriggled on it in pain.

Toti arose and cleaned up, when she was completely dried up and itchy from the soap, the lights went on and water began to gush through the opened shower tap. She dashed back in, and once again. “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!” She got burnt this time. She shuddered and then turned on the cold tap to get the temperature right.

Ten minutes later she was out getting dressed. Toti moisturized and was about to whip something on, she realised that all her trousers and skirts were dirty and she only had t-shirts. She had forgotten to collect her office shirts from the drycleaners.

“This day can’t be any worse.” Toti moaned. As she headed for the kitchen she looked at the clock in the corridor, it was 10am, “NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!” Toti had already been threatened with the three time strike. If she was late three times she was out irrespective of how great her work was. She was late a third time, that was it. Or was it? She needed to do something to save face.

Nothing came to mind, so she braved it and went to work, she did look pretty off. She had overdone her powder and make up. Every time she coughed or sneezed a cloud of powder was lifted from her countenance. When she got to the office, people saw her and ran away.

“OK? That is a bit extreme…” Toti thought to herself. After three other people ran away like they had seen a ghost there seemed to be something wrong. She went straight to her boss’ office and knocked on the door. Her manager screamed and hurled himself past her out the door shutting it behind her. Toti, stood there looking from side to side baffled. What in the world was going on? She caught her reflection in the window, she looked hideous. But why did people run away from her?

What she didn’t know was her cleaning lady pulled an April fool’s joke, by calling her office to say Toti had died. Toti was always full of morning catastrophes she knew Toti would play the part very well.


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