You really SUCK!

“Give it up for I SUCK!” The MC yelled.

The crowd cheered and went wild. About 30 seconds later, Billy was nowhere to be seen, his band was in the shadows waiting for his cue so that they could get jamming. Billy froze starring straight at this percussionist and back up vocalist; Jimmy. Jimmy tactfully tried to nod him toward the stage.

The MC was kind enough to make it look like it was his goof calling the lead act too early. He joked and rambled on for another 5 minutes.

“Now without further a do; I think I got it right this time – YOU SUCK!”

The crowd went wild and this time Jimmy didn’t wait, he cued the band and they hit it. Billy panicked, holding his mic, the crowd sang along to their, “Like an Idiot” lead single. The crowd played along, they knew YOU SUCK had unconventional concerts they thought that the lead singer would chime in with them as he did sometimes; letting the crowd lead as he followed.

Billy staggered on stage, the crowd went wild, people began to faint the room was thick with excitement and perspiration.  Billy lifted the mic to his mouth and as he opened his mouth he barfed on stage. The room fell still. Then some weird bozo from the front of the crowd by the stage yelled.

“AWESOME!! YOOOOOOUUUU SUUUUUUUUUUCK!” he then made a barfing sound and the crowd joined in the barfing simulation. Billy laughed, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rocked the mic. His band let the music rip. It was a spectacular mess. It saved Billy. It made no sense though that the stage fright paralysed Billy this much. But who cared? The crowd loved it. The stage crew creatively went about mopping up the puke from the stage. The crowd fell for it thinking it was a new dance move, bobbing heads swinging arms and inching side to side in some form of wave.

The night was young and the sprinklers were laced with booze dousing the crowds now hypnotized by the chaotic sounds of YOU SUCK! It had been four hours in and the concert was reaching its crescendo. Billy flung himself into the crowd to surf. He barfed again on a fan who smeared themselves with his puke. “I love you Billy! YOU SUCK!” The crowd went wild tossing Billy back on stage. The man was clearly ill but who cared, when your band is called YOU SUCK. You can get away with any kind of insanity.


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