Ding! Dong!

Grandma was a blasting materialistic old hag, it was a relief when we put her six feet under. She deserved what she got! We were just sad that we didn’t get the honour to do it ourselves. Ungrateful old bag, can you believe she called me a whore because I chose to move in with my sisters and out of my mother’s house? We were adults we had to leave the nest some day. I didn’t have to wait for a betrothal to have that happen.
But I have to applaud Juliet, she was the one who brought an end to her foolishness. It was the usual market day and Juliet was sent to grab groceries for the week. She was given a list as long as her arm, just before she cycled off with the huge grocery basket, she asked Grandma for cash to buy the groceries.
“Do I look like an ATM to you? I don’t work? Where do you expect me to get the money from huh?” Grandma rambled. That was the usual routine. So Juliet stayed calm she knew the cash would be presented in a few minutes. Well so she thought; Grandma walked away and returned with some sisal rope used to tether the cows. An unsuspecting Juliet was beaten senseless with the rope, the bike fell on her and she passed out. She was in hospital for 3 weeks after that recuperating.
All she could recall was constantly being called stupid during the flogging. Juliet was whisked back to the village under the care of the evil witch who served her soggy Ugali and boiled and saltless vegetables as she watched the old hag eat liver and other choice foods. Well after another three weeks, Juliet was back on her feet running errands not answering back, just being understanding of the old hag’s ways.
But that wasn’t to last long. It was a Sunday, they had come from church and Juliet had gone to fetch water from the river to prepare lunch with. She had just walked in and lit the fire and was about to place the Ugali water when Grandma stormed into the kitchen. “What is all that water for? Are we feeding the 5,000?”
Juliet ignored her and placed the Ugali water, she knew the villagers would pass by, as they always did for lunch. In a separate earthen pot was the two kilograms of meat she had prepared the night before. It looked sumptuous. “Pat on back!” she extolled herself.
As the Ugali water came to boil, Juliet got the flour and prepared it. She ensured it was a soft texture ‘smelling of smoke’ as Grandma always said. A term meaning it was slightly burnt as proof that it really was ready. Grandma smelled the cooked Ugali and stormed into the earthen kitchen demanding to see the Ugali. She kicked off the cooking pot that was covering the Ugali and to her unpleasant surprise the Ugali was ‘too big’. She threw the Ugali into the fire and demanded that Juliet cook another one; smaller.
Juliet stormed out of the kitchen; Grandma yanked her by the braids calling her an ungrateful whore and daughter to a begging flea ridden woman who her son was foolish to love. Juliet fought back trying to loosen Grandma’s steel grip. Grandma began to beat Juliet with the hot Ugali cooking pot. Juliet was burnt on her face, a scar she still bares to date. Grandma accidentally slipped. Juliet broke free and picked one of the idle cooking stones around her and smashed Grandma’s legs with it.
Grandma defecated on herself, Juliet left her there crawling, she knew what she did was wrong, but she had had it. Then Grandma crawled out and threw the firewood axe at Juliet. Juliet returned and with the same axe ran back toward Grandma. She held the axe over Grandma for 2 minutes intently; her hand was drawn down by the neighbour. Mr. Kosim,
“It’s not worth it dear.” He dropped the axe and held Juliet’s arms watching her shudder in anger, hurt and pain. He held her as they watched Grandma squirm on the ground.
Grandma was rushed to hospital, but eventually died from the excessive blood loss. Juliet is in jail serving time for that; first degree murder. Juliet is more peaceful now, so are we all. Even if she didn’t do it, one of us would have done it sooner than later.

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