Superhero wannabe

I don’t know if this happens to you, but once in a while when I day dream I get really random thoughts in my head. The other day I was in a matatu and there was this gorgeous man next to me, well groomed and well mannered. He respected personal space. For some reason I wanted to rub his back and kiss him on the cheek and thank him.

Alice, a close friend of mine, and acclaimed psychologist, she did a bloody diploma now she can read minds and human behavior, said that I had suppressed sexual feelings. True or false, I never take anything she says seriously. At times I just think I have a lot of love to give and just want to act out my love. Another friend of mine said it was a Jesus syndrome. Once again do not take anything they say to account.

You see the reason why I let them stay as thoughts is because the last time I acted on my thoughts it ended badly. Like crash and burn bad. This time it wasn’t affection, it was I imagined myself as some martial arts guru meets commando type chic. Where? In a matatu. I know it looks like most of these weird thoughts occur in matatus.

I was on my way home after a regular day it was around 7pm. The matatu had pulled out of town and was on the highway; all of a sudden the guy next to me holds a gun in the air and yells that everyone pulls out their phone. “Sim card on the left hand, phone on the right” the brother was not joking.  I was busted because as usual, Kenyan antisocial behavior, I was reading people’s status updates on Facebook on my phone.

Once he had finished speaking, two chaps, one next to the driver and another guy at the back yell the same thing. Now there were 3 of them great! Now since the guy next to me seemed new to holding guns (I watch movies and can tell novices….yeah right!) I elbow him in the gut and then stick my head out the window and scream for help.

People start screaming in the matatu then I muster the courage stand up and try to smack the gun out of his hand with a  “Haiyaaaa!” martial arts sound then the gun, luckily or unluckily, goes off and I see bloody gushing. A closer look backed by his uncontrolled screaming, revealed a bullet hit crotch and now I was covered in his blood. The other thugs panicked yelling and the matatu driver stopped. Unfortunately we stopped far from civilization, near a coffee plantation.

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