“If Ugliness was a currency you would be a billionaire.” That’s what everyone told me. I just never understood why people saw so much ugliness in me. I looked in the mirror and I saw pretty much what the average person saw. I saw two eyes and ear and nostrils, a nice well sculpted nose, hair on my head, fluffy eyebrows and lashes and nice supple lips. What else was there to separate me, the ‘chaff’ from the fine gals?
Growing up Mama always told me I was beautiful, my siblings told me I was beautiful. My teachers smiled at me sheepishly with the usual pity look on their face the first time they met me but I was fine. Kids would call me Frankenstein mostly. Occasionally I would be honored and named after someone, or thing famous; Sponge bob square pants.
In class I was one of the smartest and I was always picked for presentations. I did great! Mum and Dad would show off my trophies from science congress and debate club, always first or the best speaker or inventor. That wasn’t good enough for people. I genuinely did not care. If my family was happy and proud so was I, they were all I cared for in the world.
I was hanging out with a group of friends I grew up with and something random happened. My closest friend of all, Saul, out of nowhere in the middle of pizza said 4 words that bore into my spirit. “Will you marry me?”
What? Who says that! I mean a lot of people do. But who says that to their pal? Everyone stared at me. I would have stood up and left, but when you are a paraplegic with hydrocephalus, movement can be quite an issue. I would have said my head got big, but technically birth and science sorted that out for me. My brows probably took the lift to the top of my head to indicate shock.
So what did I do you want to know? I took Saul by the head and cupped his face in my hands and said, “What the hell?! I am your pal Saul!”and laughed it off. He didn’t budge; he asked me again kneeling and tears streaming down his cheeks, and threw in the killer three, “I love you.” Now everyone was staring. What could I say?